So bad.
I normally do not post DPS and Damage meters for the PUGs of Pain posts, but this is just pathetic. All were geared, all were full of bravado, and all failed.
Varthar – Argent Dawn: 2670 DPS
Vitandus – 2379 DPS
Skeptar – Stormrage – 1674 DPS
Lanthsonna – Stormrage – 1446 DPS
Vitandus was the tank.
On LFD, your tank, and your healer
Your queue for a random dungeon just popped and you zone into the instance. What’s the first thing to do?
- Do you run off ahead and start DPSing mobs?
- Do you start typing in all caps, “GO GO GO”?
- Do you start typing in all caps, “BUFF PLZ”?
- Do you run off ahead and start tanking mobs?
The answer, of course, is no. The first thing you do is wait. Wait for the tank or healer to respec to the build for the instance. We often run in DPS spec when doing dailies. We might be stacked with PVP gear at that moment. You probably waited a long time for the queue as DPS. You can wait a moment more.
Once the tank and healer are ready and the group has started pulls, what do you do? You wait. You wait before attacking the mobs so the tank can get threat. Gear is easy to get for DPS classes and scales much better than tanking gear. If you pull threat, the tank and healer should let you die.
Tanks, you just got your second piece of tier 10 and have a “lot of hit points!” You know you can ROFLstomp this instance. What do you do? You wait. You are not as good as you think. You’ve stacked for nothing but hitpoints and your avoidance is lousy, so when you get hit, you get hit hard. Wait for the healer.
It’s the middle of combat, and you are standing in fire/poison/void zones, so what do you do? You don’t wait. We do not care if your rotation and swing timer gets reset or that it means your DPS won’t top the charts. If you are a DPS standing in fire, the healer should let you die.
Heroic Halls of Wretchedness
Zone into H HoR as my random, totally PUG daily. I notice that the first two bosses are down, which is odd, since that is usually the killer. I’m advised that this I am the fourth tank and I “better be good” and “heals are fine.” I’m also told this is the second healer. All warning signs, but I figure it’s the back half of H HoR so it can not be too bad.
We trigger the Banshee Queen and she starts down the path. We all move down to the wall when the Retribution Paladin – the one that had spammed gear scores when I entered – races down to Arthas as he’s summoning and starts engaging the mobs. I taunt, slap down Death and Decay, and struggle to keep threat on mobs pulled far, far away from me. During this ordeal, the healer is spamming his 900 HPS on the Retribution Paladin, all in vain.
The Retribution Paladin is raised just as Arthas starts to summon for the second wall. Once again, the Paladin races down to the pack, drops Consecrate, and gets eaten by Arthas’ aura. The healer thinks this is a sign to DPS and pops a Hand of Reckoning so he “can help brun down the mobs”. The Shaman, in party chat, reflects mournfully, “This is why we’ve gone through three other tanks. I hate PUGs.”
Healing ICC5 as a Paladin (or, Why not to make your tank and healer angry)
Now that I have some gear on my Paladin’s Holy set, the ICC5 dungeons come up a lot. First off, I am a relatively new Paladin healer. I am still getting the hang of things. Next, and more importantly, those instances deal a lot of damage to the party as a whole. It’s hard enough to heal without DPS standing in poison or casting spells at a spell reflecting mob. This was last night’s conversation:
DPS: “MAN THIS PALADIN SUCKS.”
Me: “I am a single target healer. Please try to avoid standing in void zones and casting at a reflecting mob, etc.”
Tank: “He is an OT/MT healer, not an AoE healer. Don’t be an idiot.”
DPS: “I HAVE A PRIEST ALT AND THIS PLACE IS EASY.”
Me: “You have AoE heals. I don’t have any.”
DPS: “THIS IS LULZ. YOU SUCK.”
Me: “kay.”
Tank: “Just keep me alive.” (Races ahead to next mob while the DPS is QQing. PEW PEW PEW, mob dead.) “See, we don’t need them. Let’s roll on the trinket.”
Me: “Sounds good.”
DPS: “HEY WTF.”
DKs should shield bash
Heroic Old Kingdom PUGs seem to be among the worst for me. In this particular case, a Fury warrior insisted on charging ahead on every pull and then screaming for me (the tank) to “fucking tank!” while also screaming “fucking heals!” Sadly, the healer and I were unable to initiate a kick as this Warrior charged ahead time and again.
The best part was his sage advice to me, a Death Knight tank, that I should “shield bash” more. Indeed, we should.
Forge of Idiots
Forge of Souls. I zone in and assess the field – 3 people in the same guild, which is either very good or very bad. I start to respec to tank. Paladin pops wings and pulls first mobs, dies. I am far enough out that I am not in combat, so I cancel the respec, change gear, and tank the two giants. We take them down. I eat to recover health from the battle and the gear swap.
The Warlock and Priest run off ahead and cast Seed of Corruption and Penance on the next group. The last DPS, a well-geared Rogue, takes the smart path and leaves the party. I get kicked for daring to tell them my threat is low when I am not even in combat.
New category: Bad PUGs
It’s time to regale you with stories of the wicked bad PUGs I always seem to find. Goull [HDL] swears it’s some kind of bad karma I am reaping – I think it’s good karma I am storing to live to be 180.
Please share your bad PUG stories as well.